Dear Hormones,

Dear hormones,

I hate you. All of you. I understand that you came into my life during puberty to shape my body and give me beautiful curves. I understand that you're hear to regulate my cycle, as well as play a large role in some of the most important events I will probably experience in my life, from pregnancy and childbirth to the menopause. But give me a mother fucking break.

I'm sick of you making me so unbearable to be around every month to wear I feel like Jason would be better off if I spent the week at my mother's. I'm sick of you making me so damn tired to where I can sleep 10 hours and am still exhausted and can barely get out of bed to be late to work. I'm sick of you making me want to cry over every little thing and make all situations worse than they are in my head. I'm tired of having this overwhelming depression one week out of every month where I don't want to do anything but lay in bed or on the couch and eat and watch television. I'm tired of you making me have horrible road rage where I just want to smash into people's cars and not give a shit what the outcome is. Or just drive off a bridge for that matter. I still can't believe I threw that at that guy's minivan this morning. But you're right, he did almost wreck into me 3 times in 2 miles because he was on his cell phone and apparently does not know what a blinker is.

In conclusion, can we please make some sort of peace, where you can just do your job and not interfere with my life so much? Can you just let me be and stop invading my brain and causing synapses to misfire and make me want to cut out babies' hearts and eat them? Cause that would really be super. Thanks.

Sincerely,

This Crabby Bitch