At My Wit’s End

I have come to a realization. Not anything epiphanous, so don’t get too excited. I really fucking hate money. Really and truly. And capitalism because it’s all about money. And like I said - I hate money.

I have $1.26 in my bank account.

I have roughly $17,000 in credit card debt.

Not to mention the other, oh, $15,000 or so that I owe my mother.

I have no real food in my house. It’s like, I got Kool, but I ain’t got no Aid.

I have bills that were due yesterday that I could not pay.

Don’t get me wrong, I pay the important bills like rent and electricity. But I’ve been having money troubles for the last three months or so. I’ve been late on credit cards payments recently, so now they’re all charging me like 20%-30% interest.

I have a car that it’s almost on it’s last leg, or more specifically – I have to start changing my oil once a month and replacing spark plugs every couple of weeks. I’m told, “Save money for your car.”; “Put away like $5 a week.” etc. I have no money to save.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?

And I know it could be much worse. I could be a starving child in Ethiopia. I could be in the congo in the middle of a civil war.

But you know what? I’m not. I’m a fucking American stuck in a political capitalistic society that cares only about the big man.

I am rich in family and friends and loved ones, and that’s what matters most. But how am I not supposed to worry about money when I don’t even have food in my house besides white rice and cornbread [but no milk to make it with]?

Being an adult sucks. I wish I could be 5 again and start over so I’d know better than to get all those credit cards so young.


End rant.